Requesting Backup!
Isn’t it ironical, whenever you want to be surrounded by people you are left alone and whenever you want to be left alone you are surrounded by people (much to your annoyance)?I’ve been through both these scenarios. But as far as I can recollect it’s the first situation that is tough to live out. It’s like this, I've had a few good friends but none stay with me when I want them the most. No, don’t take me wrong, not that out of any misunderstanding, they are still good friends but you see, it so happens that they get separated out( and moreover there are problems which you can’t open up even to your closest pals). And I stand alone… all alone…
I feel like bursting out all my feelings, fears to someone but in vain. I end up pacifying myself. Often you wish there would be someone who’d give you a plausible solution to your problems and support during your hard times. But it never happens. So, you reach out to people and ask their guidance. As I know one of the following happens: they get your situation wrong, they think your problem is silly, or they just don’t care for you.
And many a times, I’ve experienced those things and I just say to myself, “they’re just like everyone else...” From my personal encounters, I dare say, don’t confide in anyone else than you, unless you’re pretty confident in that person. It’s a pity I never found such a soul. There were times when I couldn’t explain myself to my closest pals.
So, there goes, I never got a problem solver and I could never ask out to my friends. Eventually, I moved alone. Once when I started with my college, I was very much excited about new friends. It was like this at the beginning: you see a bunch of happy guys, I’d be at the centre of it. But later as time went on , I got alone. It was tough at the beginning. You have to rely completely on you. And it was pretty new to me. I kinda learned those things. So., I thought just could manage myself alone without company.But when I look back to see my past, I just see the happy-bubbly-cheerful me lost away in time, drenched in a sea of silly problems (which had a simple way of solving it) I try a lot to stay cheerful, but one thing about depression is you feel good when you stay depressed and alone. May be, staying alone was the reason. It’s not that it happens eventually, it’s that you move yourself away from your surroundings.
Life has a unique way of teaching, through experiences. I learnt it the hard way. Now I know, what should be shared, what should be kept within myself, how much personal space you should have. Whenever I feel down due to a problem, I just ring up my pals and get ready for a football match, rather than asking them for a solution. The game didn’t solve my problem, but at least it helped me forget it for a good one hour.
These are just my ramblings. I don’t know if it made any sense to you. If you are/were a loner, certainly it would’ve made some sense, else, just read it for the pleasure of it. Its just my transition from a social guy to a loner and back to a social guy. These were what I exactly felt when I faced these situations.
What am I trying to say? Solitude is not a solution. If people can’t solve your problem, it certainly doesn’t mean it is doesn’t have a solution.
whatever be your problem is, the best bet would be to forget it.
Don’t make a silly problem spoil your day. Just move along, there’s happiness around the corner!!!
Labels: lone, rambling, solitude
posted by Jyothikarthik @ 9:57:00 AM
Comments: 2
